


Not just suit that makes a hero

by AtomwaveHeadcanons (ColdAtomHeadcanons)



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: It's just Ray deserved something, M/M, Nate and Ray are bros, fix it for s2e3, you know the suit's still gone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8452336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdAtomHeadcanons/pseuds/AtomwaveHeadcanons
Summary: Ray can see Sara frowning and he knows the next word that will come from her mouth before she even speaks them.“How does the Shogun know how to operate an Atom suit?” She asks and Ray forces a smile on his face, trying to look as relaxed as possible as he shrugs.“I designed it so an idiot can use it.”“An idiot does.” Mick grumbles and Ray forces the grin to remain on his face no matter how much the words hurt. Because he thought they were a team. Ray thought that perhaps he meant something to this group of people, that maybe he wasn’t Oliver in the Arrow team, but he was at least Felicity or maybe even John. He thought that maybe he’s part of the team, through the bad and the good. Only it doesn’t feel that way anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ask: I am in need of some serious angst after last episode, with the suit being gone and ray just needing the reassurance

Ray can see Sara frowning and he knows the next word that will come from her mouth before she even speaks them.

“How does the Shogun know how to operate an Atom suit?” She asks and Ray forces a smile on his face, trying to look as relaxed as possible as he shrugs.

“I designed it so an idiot can use it.”

“An idiot does.” Mick grumbles and Ray forces the grin to remain on his face no matter how much the words hurt. Because he thought they were a team. Ray thought that perhaps he meant something to this group of people, that maybe he wasn’t Oliver in the Arrow team, but he was at least Felicity or maybe even John. He thought that maybe he’s part of the team, through the bad and the good. Only it doesn’t feel that way anymore.

It doesn’t feel that way for a while now with Sara reminding him that his suit was the reason Ray is important to the team, even though she did apologize. But that’s the thing. In anger, people say what’s really luring in the dark places of their mind, the things may not be exactly what they think, but they are what they are wondering about. They are what they think might be a possibility and Ray can forgive Sara, but he can’t forget her words.  They haunt him and it’s perhaps them that pushed Ray into making the serum. Ray wants to be something with or without the Atom suit and the serum could help him there. But giving it to Nate wasn’t part of the plan. He doesn’t regret saving Nate’s life – he would do it again if the situation was to repeat, but he can’t stop feeling  _cheated_.

And now the Shogun has his suit and Ray’s teaching Nate how to destroy the only thing that makes him part of the team. Teaches him how to destroy Ray’s work of what feels like ten years. Teaches him how to destroy Ray’s hope of helping people.

After today, Ray will have nothing and Nate will have the future that Ray dreamt up for himself. But that’s not Nate’s fault and Ray does the best to remind himself of that as he’s standing, his hands tightly curled into fists, his eyes wide and burning, watching his suit – and the Shogun – blow up. There was hope for just a second when his sword hit the side of the suit, causing a quick malfunction. That perhaps they didn’t need to destroy it. Maybe to just damage it enough – but the suit was as great as Ray intended it to be, repairing the small things on its own and shattering the glimpse of future that still held Ray as a hero in front of Ray’s very eyes.

There’s bright light, Ray gets thrown to the ground and then nothing – a precaution that Ray made after last mistake in the past, he refused to have the future endangered again because someone found a piece of his suit – and Ray can’t breathe. His future, everything he worked so hard for is gone, in nothing more than a flash of light.

Part of Ray wants to blame Nate. Because Nate’s the guy that saved the girl, Nate’s the guy that has powers, Nate’s the guy going down in history as a hero.

“You did it.”

“I did it.”

“Yeah. You blew up the ATOM suit.” Nate’s everything  _Ray_  always wanted to be, Nate  _took_ that away from Ray. But then Nate’s eyes snap to his and they are so full of regret and something more, something that touches a place deep inside Ray’s chest, because Nate  _understands_.

 “I am  _so_  sorry.” He mutters and Ray can’t. He can’t blame this guy in front of him, because he got to save the day. He can’t blame him, because this is as important to Nate as it would be to Ray. So Ray pushes at his feelings, pushes down the hurt and smiles.

“It’s okay.” Lies. It’s not okay, because Ray’s life just shattered and disappeared just like his ATOM suit. But Nate can’t know. No one can know. “You steeled on. Kinda proud of you.”  Perhaps Ray and Nate aren’t that different, because those are the words they both long for. Because at those words Nate smiles and looks down. Ray holds back the sigh and throws his arm around Nate, hugging him lightly.

“You shouldn’t let your girl wait.” Ray motions with his head towards Masako, who’s waiting not too far from them.

“But-“ Nate hesitates and Ray rolls his eyes, pushing at him lightly.

“Go be a hero. I need to get out of this armor anyway.” The smile on Ray’s face feels fake, but it’s good enough for Nate who nods and runs off to Makoto. Ray holds the façade until he’s back inside the house and only then does he allow it to slip, pulling at the armor frantically. He needs it  _off._  He needs it off right now, right this second, because it’s too heavy. Because it reminds Ray too much of an armor that he doesn’t have anymore, that he won’t have anymore.  

Ray’s fingers are slipping on it though, his hands are numb and the laces just don’t work. It’s too suffocating and Ray can’t breathe, he  _can’t breathe_  and-

“Calm down, Haircut.” Mick’s there, growling and pushing Ray’s fingers away as he undoes first the helmet, and shoulders, before unlacing Ray’s side. It’s a while until he’s out of the last of the armor and the panic is still surging inside of him. It’s even longer until Ray’s quick needy gasps turn into slower, deeper breaths, and another moment until he’s aware he’s sitting on the ground, between Mick’s spread legs and pressed tightly against Mick’s chest. It’s a bit uncomfortable, and it ought to be horrible for Mick too with Ray being taller than him, but Mick’s sitting there, a rock Ray can lean on.

Mick’s body is warm, he’s grumbling something and his hand’s running through Ray’s hair, pulling lightly at times without him meaning to. It’s like Ray’s sheltered, like reality can’t touch him right now and Ray wants to get lost in the warmth forever.

 _An idiot does_.

The words repeat in Ray’s mind and Ray freezes.

“Back to normal, Haircut?” Mick asks. Ray frowns and forces himself to pull away from the warm temptation.

“Yes.”

“Lie.” The guy growls and Ray bares his teeth for a moment.

“I have no idea why you care if I’m just an idiot.” Ray spits out, turning around to glare at Mick, the almost calm he felt just moments ago gone completely.

“You are an idiot.” Mick shrugs as if he’s just saying a fact and Ray’s eyes widen. He heard the words before and he hoped that perhaps they might hurt a little less next time around. They don’t. His chest’s burning and he can’t even open his mouth. Instead he shakes his head, because he can’t, he already feels like there is no place for him in this team and even Mick thinks that and Ray _can’t._ He wants to leave, but Mick catches his arm and keeps him in place.

“Because you think armor makes a hero.” Ray laughs at that and opens his mouth. He wants to tell him that that is all Ray had. He wants to tell him that Ray’s nothing without his armor, wants to tell him that Nate’s a hero because of one. But Mick doesn’t let him speak. Instead his hand tightens on Ray’s arm and he frowns. “Snart didn’t have any armor. He didn’t even have his gun.”

It’s quiet, and it’s the first time that Mick mentioned Len since they defeated Savage and Ray has no idea what to say.

“Mick…” he whispers and Mick shakes his head, letting go of Ray’s arm only to press his hand against Ray’s chest, over his heart.

“ _This_ is what makes a hero, Haircut. No superpowers, no guns, no armors. Snart was a hero, and you’re one too.”

“Len saved our lives!” Couldn’t Mick see the difference?!

“You’re doing the same.”

“Not without my suit!” That was exactly that.

“You didn’t have your suit when you saved Nate.” Mick mutters and Ray’s breath catches in his throat. “That was all you, Haircut. Your brain and your heart. You didn’t have your armor when you faced off the Shogun.” Mick’s hand slips from his chest, running lightly over his neck and cheek, until it settles at the back of his head. Ray’s throat is dry and he’s staring into Mick’s eyes.

“You didn’t have your armor when you saved me back in the gulag. Or when Len died. You’re a hero, Haircut. It’s not just suit that makes a hero.” Mick’s looking at him like what he’s saying is the truth, like he means his words and Ray can feel his heart jumping in his chest. He’s not even sure how or why, but suddenly he’s jumping forward, pressing his mouth against Mick, half expecting to the pushed away. But Mick’s arm curls around his waist and kisses him back, returns every frantic, needy and desperate kiss with a slow, gentle press of his lips. Ray can feel Mick’s hand resting at the side of his face as Mick kisses him over and over again, first warm, then hot and burning as if he’s trying to convince Ray even that way. Ray can’t help himself, he laughs into the kiss, then pulls away and laughs into Mick’s neck, while the other pats his back.

“Is this another panic attack?” Mick huffs and Ray shakes his head, still chuckling.

“No. I’m just an idiot.”

* * *

 

“What an amazing time period.” Nate smiles next to Ray. Ray nods, feeling a grin pull on his own lips as he thinks back to the moment in the house.

“Definitely my favorite. Besides the Old West.” There was just something about being the Sheriff, living the childhood dream.

“Why are you two goofy bastards so happy? You lost your damn suit, the food sucks, and I've got no proof ninjas exist.” Mick’s growling next to them and Ray beams, stretching his shoulder, it’s still hurt from the hit from the Shogun a bit.

“You know, Mick. It’s not just suit that makes a hero.”

Mick rolls his eyes, but Ray still sees the small smile crossing his face, even as the guy is grumbling about nerdy kids.

Ray really _does_ like this time period.


End file.
